Jan 17, 2021Melania to Step Down as First Lady Days Before Biden InaugurationMelania Trump has announced today that she will be stepping down as First Lady of the United States just days before Joe Biden’s inauguration. This marks the fourth member of Trump’s cabinet to resign in the short time since a violent pro-Trump mob attempted to seize the Capitol. …Election 20204 min read
Jan 6, 2021Republicans Feel Trump’s Violation of Election Laws Doesn’t Merit Second Impeachment: Press DisagreesAfter the Washington Post broke the story, releasing over an hour’s worth of audio recording of President Trump pressuring Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger and doing his best to coerce the SOS into overturning the 2020 Presidential Election results in Georgia, there has been a national outcry to impeach…Politics5 min read
Jan 6, 2021Gohmert Calls for Violence in the Streets, Republicans Answer with a 3-Ringed SpectacleAfter another failed day in court, Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, has called for Americans to take to the streets and incite violence. The lawsuit in question was intended to grant Vice President Pence the power to overturn the 2020 Presidential Results. Gohmert told reporters shortly after the case’s dismissal that…2020 Presidential Race5 min read
Jan 2, 2021Steve Harvey Inadvertently Sends America into Nose Dive after Mistakenly Naming Donald Trump the Winner of the 2020 ElectionThe New Year began this week with riots in the United States, as actor, comedian, musician, and national treasure Steve Harvey mistakenly declared Donald Trump the winner of the 2020 Presidential Election. During what producers insist was intended to be a “cute bit” as a part of the nationally beloved…Politics5 min read
Jan 1, 2021Missouri Senator Josh Hawley to Declare the San Francisco 49ers the True Winners of Superbowl LIV Despite Constituents’ ObjectionsJoshua Hawley, United States Junior Senator to Missouri, announced today that effective immediately he will be rescinding the Kansas City Chiefs’ status as reigning Super Bowl Champions. …Satire5 min read
Dec 31, 2020Sanders Cites Obscure Revolutionary Era Protocol to Challenge Mitch McConnell to an Actual Duel in Order to Progress a Vote on Stimulus PaymentsIn what can only be called a bizarre turn of events, two-time presidential hopeful and senator from Vermont, Bernard Sanders has challenged senate majority leader Mitch McConnell to an actual duel. Citing an obscure clause of parliamentary procedure, Sanders has challenged Mitch McConnell to a real life duel. Yes you…Political Satire4 min read
Nov 4, 2020Donald Trump Wants to Stop Counting Votes2 AM CT NOV 4th: Things were petering out. After hours of counting and reminders from every major news outlet, it seemed most Americans, politicians, news pundits, butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers, had come to terms with the votes not being counted in total on election night. There was, however…2020 Presidential Race3 min read
Nov 1, 2020The Problem with the Libertarian PartyMore so than ever before, this year my social media is flooded with friends who plan to vote third party, specifically Libertarian. As Democrats echo “Vote blue no matter who” throughout my feed, these friends actively resist. These are the people in my feed who despise the Two Party System…Politics8 min read
Oct 24, 2020A Return to the Partisan Norm: The Third Presidential Debate of 2020A shiny red tie and a bright blue tie made their way onto the stage Thursday evening, each wrapped around the neck of one of our two candidates in the 2020 Presidential Election. As moderator Kristen Welker announced their names, President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden took…Trump7 min read
Oct 22, 2020Among Us Strategy: The 3 Most Common Player Types and How to Win as the ImposterEveryone who’s ever played Among Us has probably caught themselves sometime between their first and fiftieth game saying, “Yeah, but how do I win?” The game, by design, can bring out different, very distinct styles of play. The intense psychological elements of the game have a natural tendency to encourage…Games12 min read